Heaven Page 33

  “What’s you’re name, sweetheart?”

  “Beth.”

  “That’s pretty. I’m Lewis.”

  He saw my face and offered me the unopened bottle of water in the holder.

  “Here, you’re probably dehydrated. Hittin’ the bar too hard can do that to a person.”

  “Thanks.” I accepted the water and gulped it down gratefully. It washed the grit from my throat and cleared my head.

  “What kinda friends you got? Leavin’ you all alone like that?”

  “I was out alone.”

  “Boy trouble?”

  “You could say that.”

  “Take it from an old timer like me, missy. I don’t care if this boy’s the king of England, he ain’t worth it.”

  Luckily, Lewis knew his way around town. Finally, we pulled into Byron Street. It was deserted except for the winter moths dancing under the streetlights. Lewis slowed down, waiting for a sign from me to stop. We passed the stately homes with their manicured gardens and gravel paths. I sat up straighter, my eyes peeled for the familiar rise in the road.

  I almost forgot to tell Lewis to stop I was so transfixed when it came into view, right where the street peaked. The house with its wide porch and ivy-covered elm in the front yard beckoned me like an old friend. Ivy’s pruned rose bushes stood in a row just inside the wrought-iron fence. The curtains in the front sitting room hadn’t been drawn. In the soft glow of lamplight I could see towering bookshelves, a worn antique rug, and an old grand piano. The remnants of a fire still burned in the grate.

  My heart stopped at the sight of a restored 1956 sky blue Chevy parked outside. I felt that same rush of excitement I’d experienced the first time I’d seen the boy with the turquoise eyes fishing off the edge of the pier. It seemed so long ago. But I knew one thing: Whatever happened now didn’t matter.

  I had come home.

  34

  Daybreak

  IT was strange to stand at the gates of Byron once again. It felt like no time at all had passed. All the hardships seemed to melt away and I felt like this night marked the start of a new life. I breathed in the clean night air to steady my racing heart. I wanted to remember this moment—it was going to be the beginning of everything.

  Now that I was only a few feet away from Xavier, I felt suddenly self-conscious and aware of my bedraggled state. I combed my hair with my fingers and brushed the sand off my bare toes. Then, I stepped through the wrought-iron gates and onto the path I had walked so many times in my angelic form. Now I was walking it as a real human being in my own right. The stone was cold beneath my feet and I could smell spring hanging in the air. It was strange how everything could be unchanged and yet vastly different at the same time. I stepped onto the porch and heard the third step creak as it always did. From somewhere inside, Phantom began to bark. A few moments later I heard his paws scratch at the door.

  “Hi, boy,” I whispered, and Phantom began to whine.

  I heard footsteps in the hall.

  “Phantom, come back. What’s got into you?” My breath caught in my throat. I knew that voice, low and soft, with a gentle drawl from a childhood in Georgia.

  I waited, paralyzed with anticipation, unable to speak or move. For an awful moment irrational fears filled my head. What if I was changed beyond recognition? What if Xavier had already moved on? Did I even have any right to show up now, to expect him to be waiting? In my head, our reunion had been filled with passion, not fear. Why was I losing my nerve now?

  “C’mon boy, there’s no one out there.” There was weariness in Xavier’s voice I’d never heard before. “Don’t believe me? Okay, I’ll show you.”

  The door opened and Xavier and I finally stood face-to-face.

  He was barefoot, dressed in sweatpants and a loose-fitting white T-shirt. His hair, the color of honey, fell softly in front of his eyes, which were still the most dazzling shade of turquoise, like the ocean and the sky coming together.

  His reaction was not what I expected. His mouth dropped open and he reeled backward as if I were a ghost.

  “You’re not real.” The way he shook his head in disbelief told me his imagination must have been playing tricks on him for a while. I realized how far from human I must look. The porch light wasn’t on and I was standing in shadow.

  “Xavier, it’s me,” I said in a small faltering voice. “I’ve come back.”

  He stood in stunned silence; the hand still holding the door was trembling.

  “I don’t believe you.”

  “I’m human,” I told him. “I became human … for you.”

  “I’m dreaming,” he murmured, almost to himself. “Not again.”

  “Look!” I reached forward and grabbed his hand, digging my nails into his palm. “If I weren’t real, would you be able to feel this?”

  Xavier gazed at me with a heartbreaking expression of confusion mingled with hesitant hope.

  “How can this be?” he said. “It’s impossible!”

  “You once told me a man in love can do extraordinary things,” I said. “Well … so can a woman. I’m here, I’m real, and I love you more than ever.”

  Xavier’s expression changed as he reached out to grasp my shoulders, feeling firm flesh beneath his hand. His grasp tightened and he pulled me into him in a desperate embrace. We crushed against each other with so much intensity I thought we might liquefy and form a whole new entity. Xavier held my face in his hands, and together we rocked silently back and forth. When he finally released me, the whole world spun and I remembered the pain that was wracking my body.

  I swayed dangerously and felt my vision begin to blur.

  “Hey, hey.” Xavier caught me. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine.” I couldn’t help smiling. “I’m with you.”

  “Come on, let’s get you inside.”

  I took a few unsteady steps behind him before Xavier swept me into his arms and kicked the front door shut with his boot. “You’re okay now,” he murmured into my hair. “I’m going to take care of you.”

  He laid me on the couch in the living room.

  “I never thought I’d see you again,” Xavier said. “I thought the only way was to…” His voice cracked and he broke off.

  “Hush,” I replied, stroking his hair and noticing it was longer and the color of dark amber. “I know what you were thinking.”

  “I wasn’t sure it would work.” His voice became hard as he relived the challenge of the last months. “Living meant nothing once you were gone. Gabriel and Ivy helped; I don’t think I would have pulled through without them.”

  “Where are they?” I looked past him into the empty house, a little less pristine than my sister usually kept it. There was a mug on the floor and a letterman jacket hanging from the banisters.

  “They went on a mission … to Romania,” he said. “Gabriel tried for months to get you back.”

  “He did?”

  “Of course. He called on the Arch, he tried bargaining with them, pleading with them, nothing worked. I think it was killing them both. So they left. But they should be back any day now.”

  I felt tears spring to my eyes, overwhelmed by the prospect of seeing my siblings again.

  “But, Beth…” Xavier sounded suddenly cautious. “You have to tell me something.… How did you get back here? Did you run away?” His whole body tensed up. “Are they going to come after you again? I need to warn Ivy and Gabriel.…”

  I closed my hand gently over his as he fumbled for his cell.

  “No one’s coming after me. Not this time. I’m back for good.”

  I watched his face as he took me in for the first time, noticing my wild, disheveled state. The doubt in his eyes evaporated, replaced by concern. “What happened to you? You look like you’ve been at war.”

  I felt the weariness inside me flare up and I leaned heavily in his arms, feeling useless as a rag doll. I wished he’d been able to see me radiant and healthy instead of some invalid he needed
to nurse back to health. “This will pass. I just need time for the transition to be complete.”

  “We can talk about it later.” He slipped a hand under my legs and one around my waist, lifting me easily. “Come on, let’s get you cleaned up and into bed.”

  Xavier carried me up the staircase and into my old room, where he now slept. His gym bag was behind the door and a pile of his books sat on the white desk under a lamp. Besides the new additions, my room looked just as I’d left it. The familiarity of the whitewashed furniture and iron bed was comforting. Phantom followed us, deciding to resume his old position curled up on the rug. He didn’t close his eyes, though. He kept up a vigilant watch as if he too feared I might disappear again.

  “You slept in my room?” I asked happily.

  “It was the only way I could feel close to you,” he said. “I hope you don’t mind.”

  I shook my head. I loved that he’d been in my room the whole time I was away. Xavier placed me on the edge of the bed. “I’ll be right back.”

  I could hear him moving around in the bathroom and the sound of running water. He came back a moment later with a pile of clean towels.

  “Xavier, I need to ask you something. How long have I been away?”

  “Awhile … but let’s talk about that later, okay?”

  “I need to know. It’s freaking me out.” He knelt down beside me and helped me out of the sleeves of my filthy dress.

  “You’ve been gone two years to the day,” he said softly.

  “Two years! That can’t be right.”

  “Beth, it doesn’t matter now.…”

  “No. No, it’s not possible.”

  “I’m sorry,” he said. “I’m nearly twenty-two, I graduate college next year.”

  “But … I’ve missed so much.” I felt completely cheated. Missing an hour out of Xavier’s life would have been too much. Two years felt like a lifetime. “You have to tell me everything.”

  “There’s not much to tell. I got into grad school,” he said casually. “My sister had a baby. I’m an uncle now.”

  “Oh, Xavier, I’m so happy for you. This is what you always wanted.”

  “Beth, you don’t get it,” he said. “I was just going through the motions. Inside, I didn’t feel anything, even though I knew I should.”

  “But I’m home now,” I said.

  “Yes,” he said, smiling. “You were the missing piece. Everything is complete now. You know we never got to have our honeymoon. I think we should go to Paris.”

  “Okay,” I said dreamily.

  Xavier laughed. “Maybe after you take a bath.”

  * * *

  I sat on a stool in the bathroom watching the mirrors steam up as Xavier filled the tub. He picked the remnants of seaweed out of my hair.

  “Rough flight?” he said.

  My whole body was rubbed raw and my every muscle screamed with pain when I moved. But I tried not to let Xavier see how much it hurt.

  “You’re in pain, aren’t you?” he asked.

  “Pain is temporary,” I replied. “Nothing hurt worse than losing you.”

  “What did they do to you?”

  “Nothing I didn’t ask for.”

  Xavier regarded me suspiciously. “Turn around,” he said eventually. “Let me see your back.”

  “Why?”

  “You know why.”

  I bent over at the waist. Xavier slowly lifted the tattered fabric and groaned. I felt his fingers trace the thin white scars behind my shoulder blades. When he spoke, it was hard to miss the escalating anger in his voice.

  “What is this? Who scarred you like this?”

  “No one. It was my decision.”

  “Where are your wings?”

  “Gone.”

  “What do you mean gone?” His face paled. “They took your wings?”

  “They didn’t take them; I gave them up.”

  “You did what?”

  “I had to.”

  “How could you do that?”

  “It was the easiest decision I’ve ever had to make.”

  “How did that even happen—”

  “It doesn’t matter,” I cut him off. “All that matters is I’m here.”

  Xavier stared at me for a long moment. “Are you saying you’re…”

  “As human as you are.”

  “I don’t believe it.”

  “Neither did I at first. I wasn’t sure I’d make it back in one piece. All the odds were stacked against me, but somehow it worked. Someone must have been watching over us.”

  A wave of guilt fell like a curtain over Xavier’s eyes.

  “It kills me,” he said, “thinking about what you had to give up.”

  “No,” I replied. “Even though now I’ll eventually die, at least I’ll have lived. In Heaven, I might have had eternal life, but I was dead inside. You’ve brought me to life. It’s a gift.”

  Xavier bent down to kiss my forehead. Then he helped me out of my wet things and lowered me into the tub. The hot water burned at first, bringing tears to my eyes, but a few moments later the warmth seeped into me, helping to ease the aching deep in my bones. I was still a little self-conscious about being such a wreck, but Xavier hardly seemed to notice, he was so intent on taking care of me. The warm, scented water relaxed me. He got a ceramic blue jug from my dresser and used it to rinse the salt water out of my hair. He washed me gently, from head to foot, until I was completely clean. Afterward, I sat on the bed wrapped in a bathrobe as Xavier found one of his oversize T-shirts and a soft pair of sweatpants to wear. When I lifted my arms to help him dress me, he stopped for a moment, looking down at my torso.

  “Well, that’s new,” he said.

  “What is it?” I asked in alarm. Had I developed some horrible disfigurement on my journey?

  “You seem to have grown a belly button … just like the rest of us.”

  “Wow.” I looked down at my belly and he was right. Where there had only been smooth skin before there was now a small dent. Xavier used the pad of his finger to circle it. Even in my debilitated state his touch had the power to send shivers through me.

  I climbed into my old bed, letting my head sink into the downy pillow. My body relaxed instantly as the fluffy blankets enveloped me. Although I ached with exhaustion, I couldn’t bring myself to close my eyes.

  “Are you hungry?” he asked. I thought about it and realized I was. “You stay here,” Xavier said. “I’ll go fix you something.”

  I must have dozed off while he was downstairs but I woke to the smell of brewed coffee and bacon. I sat up and looked at the loaded tray he placed carefully on my lap.

  “The famous Woods fry-up?” I said.

  “Of course. It cures everything. And please note, scrambled eggs this time, just the way you like them.” I took a tentative mouthful of the fluffy eggs. The taste exploded in my mouth and I felt it revive me.

  “It’s really good,” I said. “Are you just going to sit there and watch me eat?”

  “I’m never letting you out of my sight again,” he said. “You’d better get used to it.”

  As I ate, Xavier studied my face.

  “There’s something else that’s different about you. I can’t put my finger on it.”

  “There are a lot of things that have changed now.”

  “No, it’s your skin,” he said. “It doesn’t glow like it used to.”

  “Good,” I replied. “Normal people aren’t supposed to glow.”

  “You really are human,” he breathed.

  Through the French doors I could see the sky already changing. There was only a sliver of moon and the midnight blue was diluting, broken by streaks of carnation and gold.

  “Can you open the doors please?” I asked.

  “Are you sure? You’ll get sick.”

  “I want to hear the ocean.”

  I remembered how often the sound of the waves had lulled me to sleep in the past.

  Xavier got up and did as I asked. The breeze
fluttered the pages of the books on the desk and set the curtains billowing. Xavier sat on the edge of the bed, lost in thought.

  “Are you angry with me?” I asked.

  “Of course not. I’m in awe of you.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes. You said you’d find a way and you did. You saved my life by coming back.”

  “That’s what we do,” I told him. “We look after each other.”

  “Do you think it’s really over?” he asked. “I’m almost afraid to believe that’s true.”

  “It’s finished,” I replied. “I can feel it.”

  I honestly believed nothing could come between us again. For the first time in my life I felt incredibly blessed. Even though I had challenged the will of Heaven I had been shown mercy. I had not been abandoned. Instead my Father had delivered me safely home.

  Xavier lay down beside me and his warmth seeped into my skin like sunshine. Together we waited for daybreak.

  When I looked at him, I forgot about my weariness. I didn’t worry about how long my recovery might take. All I felt was a pure and childlike happiness. But Xavier was frowning. A look of concern flitted over his perfect features and dulled the sparkle in his eyes.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked.

  He let out a sigh. “Are you sure you know what you’ve given up?”

  “I do.”

  “And you don’t regret it at all?”

  “Not for a second.”

  “You don’t wish you could have both—me and immortality.”

  “I’d choose you a thousand times over.”

  Xavier took my hand and I felt the smooth surface of his wedding ring against my palm. “I don’t think you understand,” he whispered, his turquoise eyes full of light. “From now on you’re going to feel pain, grow old, and eventually die like the rest of us.”

  Despite the look of concern on his face, I couldn’t stop myself from smiling ear to ear.

  “I know,” I said. “It sounds like heaven.”