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  “That was a very expressive rendition,” Miss Castle breathed. “We must keep you in mind when Jazz and Poetry night comes along. All right, everyone, I hope that’s inspired you to come up with some poetry of your own. I’d like you to get into pairs and brainstorm ideas. The form is entirely up to you. Give yourselves free rein — complete poetic license!”

  The class began to rearrange themselves so they sat in pairs around the room. On his way back to his seat, Jake stopped in front of my desk.

  “Want to be partners?” he purred. “I hear you’re new as well.”

  “I’ve been here for a while now,” I said, not appreciating the comparison.

  Jake interpreted my response as an acceptance of his offer and slid easily into the seat beside me. He leaned back in his chair, hands resting comfortably behind his head.

  “I’m Jake Thorn,” he said, looking at me with his hooded, dark eyes. He held out a hand, the epitome of good manners.

  “Bethany Church,” I replied, gingerly proffering my own hand.

  Instead of shaking it, as I had expected, he turned it over and brought it to his lips in a ridiculous gesture of gallantry. “Delighted to make your acquaintance.”

  I nearly laughed outright. Did he expect me to take him seriously? Where did he think he was? I would have laughed had I not found myself looking into his eyes. They were dark green with a burning intensity, and yet there was a jaded expression on his face that suggested he had seen more of the world than most his age. His gaze swept over me, and I got the feeling he didn’t miss a thing. He wore a silver pendant around his neck: a half-moon etched with strange symbols.

  He drummed his fingers casually on the desk. “So,” he said. “Any thoughts?”

  I stared at him blankly.

  “For the poem,” he reminded me with a raised eyebrow.

  “You start,” I replied. “I’m still thinking.”

  “Very well,” he said. “Any preference for particular metaphors? Rain forests or rainbows, anything like that?” He laughed at some private joke. “I’m partial to reptiles myself.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked curiously.

  “To be partial to something means you like it.”

  “I know what partial means; but why reptiles?”

  “Tough skinned and cold-blooded,” Jake said, flashing a smile.

  He turned away from me suddenly and scrawled a note on a scrap of paper, scrunched it into a ball, and flicked it at the two goth girls, Alicia and Alexandra, who were sitting in front of us, bent over their notebooks, writing rapidly. They looked across in irritation, which soon faded when they saw who their correspondent was. They quickly scanned the contents of the note, whispering excitedly to each other. Alicia peeked at Jake from under her heavy bangs and nodded almost imperceptibly. Jake winked and, seeming pleased with his efforts, settled back in his chair.

  “So the theme is love,” he resumed.

  “What?” I asked stupidly.

  “For our poem.” He slid his gaze over me. “Have you forgotten again?”

  “I was just distracted.”

  “Wondering what I was saying to those girls?” he asked me slyly.

  “No!” I said a little too quickly.

  “I’m just trying to make friends,” he said, his face suddenly very open and honest. “It’s tough being the new kid in town.”

  I felt a sudden pang of sympathy for him. “I’m sure you’ll make friends quickly,” I said. “Everyone was really welcoming when I came. And I’m always here if you need someone to show you around.”

  His lip curled up in a smile. “Thanks, Bethany. I’ll be sure to take you up on that offer.”

  We considered ideas in silence for a while until Jake spoke again. “So what do you do for kicks around here?”

  “Most people just hang out with friends, go to the beach, stuff like that,” I replied.

  “No, I meant what do you do for kicks?”

  “Oh.” I paused. “I spend most of my time with my family… and my boyfriend.”

  “Ah, there’s a boyfriend? How wholesome.” Jake smiled. “Not that I’m surprised. Of course you have a boyfriend — with a face like that. Who’s the lucky guy?”

  “Xavier Woods,” I said, embarrassed by his compliment.

  “Will he be joining the priesthood anytime soon?”

  I scowled at him. “It’s a beautiful name,” I said defensively. “It means light. Haven’t you ever heard of Saint Francis Xavier?”

  Jake grinned. “Wasn’t he the one that went psycho and moved into a cave.”

  “Actually I think it was more of a conscious decision to live simply,” I corrected.

  “I see,” said Jake, “my mistake.”

  I shifted uncomfortably in my seat.

  “How do you like your new home?” Jake asked finally.

  “Venus Cove is a nice place to live and the people are genuine,’ ” I said, “but someone like you might find it dull.”

  “I don’t think so,” he said, staring at me. “Not now — not with people like you around.”

  The bell rang, and I packed up my books quickly, eager to go and meet Xavier.

  “See you soon, Bethany,” said Jake. “Perhaps we’ll work more productively next time.”

  I was seized by a sudden wave of insecurity when I caught up with Xavier at the lockers. For some reason I felt unsettled and wanted nothing more than to feel his protective arms around me, even though they had already spent most of the day in that position. As he put his books away, I ducked under his arm and clung to him like a limpet.

  “Whoa,” he said, his arms closing around me. “It’s good to see you too. You okay?”

  “Yes,” I said, burying my face in his shirt and inhaling his familiar scent. “Just missed you.”

  “We’ve been apart an hour.” Xavier laughed. “Come on, let’s get out of here.”

  We made our way to the parking lot together. Gabriel and Ivy had granted Xavier permission to drive me home occasionally, which he saw as great progress. His car was parked in its usual spot under the shade of a row of oak trees, and he opened the door for me. I wasn’t sure what he thought might happen if I was permitted to open my own door. Maybe he was worried it would fly off its hinges and flatten me or I might sprain my wrist trying to open it. Or maybe he was just brought up with good old-fashioned manners.

  Xavier didn’t switch on the ignition until I had put my seat belt on and stowed my bag safely in the backseat. Gabriel had told him I was susceptible to pain and injury and that my human form could be damaged. Xavier was taking it all very much to heart and pulled out of the parking lot with an expression of intense concentration.

  But even Xavier’s careful driving wasn’t able to prevent what happened next. As we were turning onto the main road, a shiny black motorcycle shot out from nowhere and cut across us. Xavier slammed on the brakes, sending the Chevy lurching forward and narrowly avoiding a collision. We veered to the right, hitting the curb. I was flung forward, my seat belt catching me and throwing me painfully back against the seat. The motorcycle screamed away down the street, leaving a cloud of exhaust in its wake. Xavier stared dumbfounded after it, before quickly turning to make sure I was all right. Once he was satisfied that I was unharmed he was able to unleash his anger.

  “What the hell was that?” he fumed. “What an idiot! Did you see who was driving? If I ever find out who that was, so help me God, I’ll introduce his head to a pole.”

  “It was hard to see his face under the helmet,” I said quietly.

  “We’ll find out soon enough,” Xavier growled. “You don’t see too many Yamaha V Star 250s around here.”

  “How do you know the bike model?” I asked.

  “I’m a boy. We like engines.”

  Xavier drove me home, glaring suspiciously at passing cars as though the incident was likely to be repeated. By the time we pulled up in front of Byron, he seemed to have calmed down a little.

  “
I made lemonade,” Ivy said as she opened the front door. She looked so domestic in her apron that both of us had to smile. “Why don’t you come in, Xavier?” she asked. “You can do your homework with Bethany.”

  “Uh, no, thanks, I’ve got some chores I promised Mom I’d do,” Xavier hedged.

  “Gabriel’s not here.”

  “In that case, sure, thanks.”

  My sister ushered us both inside and shut the door. Phantom charged from the kitchen when he heard our voices and knocked against our legs by way of greeting.

  “Homework first, walk later,” I said.

  We spread our books out on the dining room table. Xavier had to finish a psychology report, and I had to analyze a political cartoon for history. The cartoon was of King Louis XVI standing beside a throne and looking very pleased with himself. I was supposed to be interpreting the significance of the objects around him.

  “What do you call that thing he’s holding?” I asked Xavier. “I can’t see it properly.”

  “It looks like a fire poker to me,” Xavier said.

  “I highly doubt that Louis XVI poked his own fires. I think it’s a scepter. And what’s he’s wearing?”

  “Mmm… a poncho?” Xavier suggested.

  I rolled my eyes.

  “I’ll get top grades with your help.”

  In truth, the homework I had been assigned and the grades I would be awarded for my effort, didn’t interest me in the slightest. The things I wanted to learn didn’t come from textbooks; they came from experiences and interactions. But Xavier was concentrating on his psych report, and I didn’t want to distract him any further so I put my head down and peered at the cartoon. My attention span turned out to be unnaturally short.

  “If you could take back one thing you’ve done in your life, what would it be?” I asked, tickling Phantom’s nose with my fluffy-tipped pen. He caught the pen between his teeth, thinking it was some kind of furry animal and trotted off victoriously.

  Xavier put down his own pen and looked at me quizzically. “Don’t you mean: What is the independent variable in the Stanford Prison Experiment?”

  “Yawn,” I said.

  “I’m afraid some of us aren’t blessed with divine knowledge.”

  I sighed. “I can’t believe that stuff really interests you?”

  “It doesn’t. But I have no choice, Beth,” he said. “I have to get into college and get a decent job if I want to succeed — it’s reality.” He laughed. “Well, I guess it’s not your reality, but it sure as hell is mine.”

  I didn’t have an answer for that. The idea of Xavier getting older, of having to work the same job day in and day out to provide for a family until the day he died, made me want to cry. I wanted his life to be easy, and I wanted him to spend it with me.

  “I’m sorry,” I said quietly.

  He slid his chair closer to me. “Don’t be,” he said. “I’d much rather be doing this…” And he leaned across and kissed my hair, his lips moving along until they found my chin and finally my mouth.

  “I’d much rather spend all of my time talking to you, being with you, discovering you,” he said. “But just because I’ve walked into this crazy fantasy, doesn’t mean I can just abandon my other plans, much as I might want to. My parents still expect me to get into a top college.” He frowned. “It’s important to them.”

  “Is it important to you?” I asked.

  “I suppose,” he replied. “What else is there?”

  I nodded — I knew what it was like to have to live up to family expectations.

  “You have to do what makes you happy as well,” I said.

  “That’s why I have you.”

  “How am I supposed to study if you go on saying things like that?” I complained.

  “There’s more where that came from,” Xavier teased.

  “Is that what you spend your spare time doing?”

  “You got me. All I do is write down lines to impress women.”

  “Women?”

  “Sorry — one woman,” he rectified as I scowled at him. “One woman who is worth a thousand women.”

  “Oh, shut up,” I said. “Don’t try and dig yourself out of this one.”

  “So gracious.” Xavier shook his head. “So forgiving and compassionate.”

  “Don’t push it, buddy,” I said, putting on a thuggish voice.

  Xavier hung his head.

  “I apologize… jeez, I’m whipped.”

  I continued with the history task while he finished writing his report. He still had a stack of homework left, but in the end I proved too much of a distraction. He had just completed his third trig problem when I felt his hand wander over to my lap. I slapped it gently.

  “Keep studying,” I said when he looked up from the page. “No one said you could stop.”

  He smiled and scrawled something at the bottom of the answer sheet. The solution now read:

  Find x if (x) = 2sin3x, over the domain -2π < x < 2π

  “Stop goofing around!” I said.

  “I’m not! I’m stating a truth. You’re my solution to everything,” Xavier replied. “The end result is always you. X always equals Beth.”

  19

  Into the Woods

  I was nervous about meeting Xavier’s family on Saturday. He’d invited me several times already, and it had become impossible to refuse without looking as though I wasn’t interested. Besides, he wasn’t going to take no for an answer.

  It wasn’t that I didn’t want to meet them; I was just terrified about how they might react to meeting me.

  At school, after the first-day nerves had evaporated, I’d never been too bothered about how I was perceived by my peers. But Xavier’s family was different; they actually mattered. I wanted them to like me, and I wanted them to think that Xavier’s life had been enhanced by our relationship. In short, I wanted their approval. Molly had told me no end of stories about her ex-boyfriend Kyle, whom her parents had thoroughly disapproved of, even going so far as to refuse him entry into the house. I was sure the Woods clan couldn’t object to me that strongly, but if they didn’t like me, their influence might be strong enough to affect Xavier’s feelings for me.

  When Saturday came, Xavier’s car pulled into our driveway at precisely two minutes to five as arranged. We headed off toward his house, which was on the other side of town, about a ten-minute drive away. By the time we pulled into his street, I had a hundred negative thoughts whirring through my brain. What if they thought my pale complexion was due to illness or a drug addiction? What if they thought I wasn’t good enough for Xavier and that he could do better? What if I accidentally said or did something embarrassing, as I often did when I was nervous? What if his doctor parents noticed there was something different about me. Wasn’t it their job to notice? What if Claire or Nicola thought my clothes were unfashionable? Ivy had helped me choose my outfit: a sleeveless navy dress with cream buttons down the front and a round collar. It was, as Molly would say, classy and very Chanel. But everything else was still one big question mark.

  “Would you just relax!” said Xavier as I ran my hands through my hair and smoothed down my dress for the tenth time since we’d left home. “I can almost hear your heart from here. They’re good, church-going people. They’re obliged to like you. Even if they don’t, which is impossible, you’ll never notice. But they’re going to love you, they already do.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I’ve told them all about you, and they’ve been dying to meet you in person for ages,” he said. “So you can stop acting like you’re going to meet the executioners now.”

  “You could show a little more sympathy,” I said testily. “I have a lot to be worried about. You are so horrid sometimes!”

  Xavier burst into laughter. “Did you just call me horrid?” he asked.

  “I certainly did. You don’t even care that I’m nervous!”

  “Of course I care,” he said patiently. “But I’m telling you that there’s no
thing to worry about. My mom is already your biggest fan, and everybody else is excited about meeting you. For a while they suspected I was making you up. I’m telling you this to make you feel better, because I care, and now I demand that you retract your insult. I can’t live with the stigma of being labeled horrid.”

  “I take it back.” I said, smiling. “But you are a dunce.”

  “My self-esteem is taking a serious bashing today,” he said, shaking his head. “First I’m horrid, now a dunce. .. I guess that makes me a horrid dunce.”

  “I’m just worried.” My smile faded. “What if they compare me with Emily? What if they don’t think I measure up to her?”

  “Beth”—Xavier cupped my face in his hands and made me look at him—“you’re incredible. They’re going to see that right away. And besides, my mom didn’t like Emily.”

  “Why not?”

  “She was too impulsive.”

  “Impulsive how?” I asked, puzzled.

  “She had some issues,” Xavier said. “Her parents were divorced, she didn’t see her dad, and sometimes she did things without thinking them through. I was always there to keep her safe, thank God, but it didn’t make her too popular with my family.”

  “If you could change things and have her back, would you?” I asked.

  “Emily’s dead,” Xavier said. “And that’s how life played out for us. Then you came along. I might have been in love with her then, but I’m in love with you now. And if she came back today, she’d still be my oldest friend, but you’d still be my girlfriend.”

  “I’m sorry, Xav,” I said. “I just feel sometimes like you’re only with me because you lost the one you were meant to be with.”

  “But can’t you see, Beth?” he insisted. “I was never meant to be with Em. I was destined to love her and lose her. You’re the one I’m meant to be with.”